bbobb's place

A snapshot of whatever random silliness or naughtiness is going through my head at the time I post. Be warned it can be a scary place inside my mind at times.

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Location: midwest, United States

01 November 2006

Wore my cowboy hat yesterday

Yesterday, I took AngelBrat's advice and went to PetSmart to get a dogging bat. New toys are always fun, and with Kasey going away again, I thought a going away present might be in order.

So, at lunch I headed off to PetSmart to get the new toy. I wore my cowboy hat as a disguise. I figured it would be much more believable that I jump off of horses onto bulls if I have a cowboy hat on. People who wear cowboy hats are much more likely to do that than they are to spank their wife, right? :-o

Well my luck ran about usual and I wandered around the horse section for about five minutes and I didn't see a dogging bat anywhere. I did see a couple other things that Kasey doesn't know about yet, but no dogging bats. So, when the nice young employee asked me if I needed any help, without any hesitation, I asked him, "Do you have any dogging bats?"

He looked a little confused for a moment, which surprised me a bit. I figured that our area is so boring there must be plenty of people trying out spanking in desperation for something new to do and the dogging bats must be flying off the shelves at PetSmart. Anyway, his apparent confusion cleared up and he pointed over to the big rack of those long whips they use for running horses around in circles. (Note: I just like the hat, I actually have next to nothing in common with cowboys and other horse loving sorts and certainly don't know the names of their tools.)

Now it was my turn to look a little confused. I'd gone by that display and dismissed it earlier, because even though I didn't know the name of those whips, I knew they weren't dogging bats. But, I figured I had nothing to lose, so I went over to the display and looked more closely. And Voila! hidden off to the side behind a bunch of other stuff was one genuine, leather with metal reinforcement dogging bat. It was two bucks more than AngelBrat's, but $8.99 is still pretty cheap for a spanking implement.

So, trying to walk like I had a horse waiting for me in the parking lot rather than a minivan, I went up to the register to buy my new toys. I considered putting my tongue over my teeth to fake a tobacco bulge, but that seemed a little over the top even to me. I did make sure to address the check out lady as ma'am.

The rest of the day passes. I get home and tell Kasey that I got a dogging bat and that we'll need to try it out after the kids go to bed. We get the kids ready for trick or treating. She takes them; I hand out candy. Dinner. Sorting the candy into piles for keeping and leaving for the Halloween Fairy. Family game time. Bedtime.

Finally, we can try out the new dogging bat.

Except, I fall over asleep before my head even touches the pillow. Actually, I missed the pillow with my head and had some interesting marks on my face from the slats on the bed this morning. Argh, no play time, screwy (or perhaps screwier than usual) looking face, and Kasey's leaving town this afternoon.

Oh well, now I'll just have to think extra hard about her coming home celebration/punishment.


Hope you're all getting luckier than me,
bbobb

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

On my way to petsmart!!!

Eva

01 November, 2006 19:07  

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